Thursday, 17 September 2009

The Script

      So ive been thinking and ive come up with something ive named "The script". It comes from analyzing my own behavior and my ex and my teachers and my workmates and my family and my friends. Infact, anyone i have had contact with.

      Ive come to the understanding that people have thier animal side and then they have thier human side. Thier animalistic side is thier nature. The part of them that feels like they want to fight or fuck. Impulse. Instinct. Basic but powerfull. Then theres the human part that can detach themselves from a situation, weigh it up, consider the consequences, ponder the morality and them act in a controlled way.

      Now nothing in life is black or white but a scale. So people go through life trying to be the best person they can but on occasion they do something or say something thats morally wrong but they were propelled to do because of thier nature getting the better of them. Later upon reflection they understand what they have done is wrong and out of character. Its not them. What pursues is guilt. Guilt is like napalm, its clings. So what people have managed to do is create something to take away the guilt.. They cant go back in time and change things so the only thing they can do is contextualise. They create "The script".

      The script is based on causality. You follow back your actions far enough to show that what you did was infact caused by your reaction to a series of events. You diffuse your responcibility to the point where you convince yourself that you never had any choice. Your not a bad person, you just did a bad thing and because your guitly, that shows your sorry. All makes sense. So your guilt fades because you contextualize it.

      After a while you do it with everything. The script provides an excuse to procrastinate for example. Its a get out of jail free card. It hides your cowardness. Well i didnt do that because of this and that.

      Not only do you start to believe your own script but you sell it to other people. Your friends are the first ones to buy your script. Then your surrounded with people that tell you your scritp back to you. Your family usually take your script without question. Before you know it you forgotten what the reality was. Because lets face it. Reality is harsh and its raw. Its unforgiving and to the point. It doesnt care about your feelings. It doesnt care about anybody elses feelings.

      The script is the lubracant for social fluidity. So as i walk around and watch people i see them too, rolling out thier scripts. As see myself rolling out mine depending who i engage with.....and i shudder. Whats real?

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